Do you feel lonely in marriage or your relationship?

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Do you find yourself yearning for the sense of connection and feeling that you had in the early part of your relationship? In my work with couples, we work to restore the parts of your marriage that create the intimacy and connection that you felt early on. When you first fall in love, you are so enthralled with each other and feel a sense of deep connection. In the beginning, you may have felt: “he’s interested when I talk”, “she gets me”, “I open up like I never opened up before”.

So, how did I get to feeling so alone in my relationship?

Secure relationships are built over time on a strong foundation of trust, mutual responsiveness, and love. However, many factors can interfere with building or sustaining this foundation.

The pressures of daily life tend to crowd out our listening skills and we get less responsiveness from our partner. Over time, you can grow disconnected. Gradually, animated conversations about shared interests, ambitions, goals and dreams can give way to the daily business of running your household. Keeping up with finances or the stresses of parenting can take the place of real, meaningful emotional connection.

Did you and your spouse fall into routines that create distance? Do you go to sleep early while your spouse stays up late? Do you work on the computer while your spouse reads or watches TV in another room? You can develop separate and parallel lives that erode love and affection.

As trust and connection recede, anger takes hold and patterns in the relationship develop which create more isolation. It is often during stressful times in our lives that we first begin to recognize the distance that has built over time in the relationship. At these times, we need more of our partner’s emotional support and wonder why our partner is not responsive to our distress.

Learn to take back your relationship – you don’t have to feel lonely in your marriage

In couples therapy, you will learn how to recognize and step out of patterns of relating that have created isolation in your relationship. You will develop the communication skills to reconnect with your partner. It is possible to experience the love, affection, communication and sharing that you once had in your marriage.